Bringing a second baby into your family is an exciting and transformative experience. As you prepare to expand your heart and home, it's natural to have questions about how to navigate this new chapter.

Fear not! We've got you covered with these helpful tips to ensure a smooth and joyful transition as you welcome your second bundle of joy.

Prepare Your Firstborn: One of the keys to a successful transition is involving your older child in the preparations. Talk to them about their upcoming role as a big brother or sister, read books about sibling relationships, and let them feel the baby's movements. Encourage their curiosity and address any concerns they may have, ensuring they feel included and excited about their new sibling.
Establish Routines: Maintaining predictable routines can provide stability during times of change. Prepare your firstborn for the new baby's arrival by establishing consistent daily routines well in advance. This will help them adjust more easily once the baby comes home. Additionally, involving them in simple caregiving tasks, such as fetching diapers or helping with gentle playtime, can foster their sense of responsibility and connection with the baby.
Create Special Bonding Time: While caring for a newborn demands attention, it's crucial to carve out quality one-on-one time with your older child. Schedule special activities, like reading their favorite book or going on outings together, to reassure them of their significance and to strengthen your bond. These moments will make them feel valued and cherished, even amidst the demands of a newborn.
Accept Help and Delegate: Don't hesitate to accept help from friends, family, or hired professionals during the early postpartum period. Whether it's assistance with household chores, meal preparation, or babysitting, this support will alleviate some of the pressures and give you more time to focus on bonding with your new baby and tending to your older child's needs. Check out our postpartum doula packages HERE.
Foster Sibling Bonding: Encourage a positive and loving relationship between your children by facilitating interactions and shared experiences. Involve your older child in caring for the baby, such as fetching diapers or singing lullabies together. Organize family activities that promote bonding, like family movie nights or outings that include everyone. These moments will help create lifelong connections between siblings.
Practice Self-Care: Amidst the demands of caring for two little ones, it's vital to prioritize self-care. Take time for yourself, even if it's just a few minutes each day, to engage in activities that bring you joy and rejuvenate your spirit. Whether it's a bubble bath, a walk in nature, or practicing mindfulness, self-care ensures you have the energy and emotional well-being to meet the needs of your growing family.

Welcoming a second baby is a beautiful journey filled with love, challenges, and countless precious moments. Remember, every family is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Trust your instincts, be flexible, and most importantly, cherish the journey as you witness the beautiful bond between your children blossom. Enjoy this remarkable time as your family grows in love and connection.

Renee is co-owner of Transitions: Doula & Life Services in Sioux Falls, SD. Renee’s goal is that every person has their very best birth and postpartum. Renee helps birthing persons and their partners accomplish this goal by connecting them with Transitions Doulas who provide loving physical and emotional support throughout pregnancy, birth, and beyond. In addition to running the agency, Renee also provides postpartum doula support, lactation support, and childbirth education.

10. Our culture has got it all wrong.

In other cultures, there are rituals of healing nourishment, body care, special diets, and honor.

Where other cultures nurture their mothers for a period of time, the US kicks us in the ice pack and tells us to get back to life.

Is this healthy? Our maternal mental health issues, mortality rates, and dismal breastfeeding rates speak for themselves.

While you might not hire a postpartum doula for ‘round the clock care for 40 days, you can find a lot of the same nurturing in your time with them. While everyone else is looking at the baby and ready to return to life as they knew it, your postpartum doula knows that you are in a window of time known as the 4th trimester, and we honor that time. A postpartum doula allows you to slow down, rest, and heal.

9. It’s a no-judgement zone.

Postpartum doulas are judgement-free. We realize the only opinion that matters in parenting your family is yours.

We don’t care when your mom introduced solids. We don’t care that your sister found great luck with a specific bassinet. Those were their journeys, and you’re on yours. We are here to walk with you in those early parenting days, providing resources when requested, but honoring your decisions as parents. We are good at listening with curiosity and not judgement.

8. Your space will feel less chaotic.

A postpartum doula is just naturally the make-themselves-at-home type to tidy, wash dishes, put away toddler toys, all while spending time with you. When your doula is gone, and you’re world is confined to “wherever is coziest to feed the baby”, you’ll notice how much more relaxed you feel when that space is tidy.

7. We know what “normal” looks like.

And just as importantly, we notice what looks “off”. So if you’re looking for reassurance or a second-eye on something, doulas are the type you want around!

6. We can answer questions you might never ask anyone else.

If you’ve not been in the postpartum period, you might have no idea what type of questions would crop up that you might feel uncomfortable asking friends or even your provider at the six week check up. But your doula is fair game for all of that. I often tell my birth and postpartum clients, there is no such thing as TMI in this field. I’ve seen a lot, I’ve heard a lot, and my only request is that I get a heads-up if you’re going to send me a questionable picture over text so that I’m not startled :).

A lot of time, people who’ve just had a baby aren’t sure about all the things their bodies or doing, or what to expect down the road. A doula can clear up a lot of that (without all the scary Googling).

5. You’ll have evidence-based information at your finger tips.

Speaking of Googling, doulas are a wealth of knowledge when it comes to the postpartum period and newborn care. Seriously, just stay off of Google and ask an expert! If we don’t know the answer, we will put in the effort to do the research for you.

4. Two words: Overnight doulas.

Did you know that there are doulas who actually LOVE providing overnight care? Imagine… you’re winding down for the night, baby is fast asleep (for now), and your doula quietly comes in, looks at the list of things that could get done. When you wake in the morning, you’re fully rested, and your house is tidy, laundry is folded, coffee is ready, and kitchen is sparkling. (If this sounds like heaven, then you’ve got to talk to Ashlyn).

3. You need to meet your basic needs.

There’s no other time in your life where just finding the space and time to eat, shower, and sleep is this difficult. Your doula can care for baby and older children so you’re able to do jump in the shower or take a nap. A doula can prepare a meal, order groceries, cut up fruits and veggies, and all of the other things that come with nourishing yourself and your family. Our goal is to make sure that these important parts of the 4th trimester are happening.

2. Your partner will thank you.

Partners love doulas. They often have to return to work sooner than they’d like, so knowing someone will be there nurturing the family in their absence takes weight off their mind. They also appreciate the knowledge that a doula brings.

Partners are the ones who are tasked to notice if the birthing person is dealing with any postpartum mood issues, and they appreciate having a second set of eyes on their loved one.

1. You deserve it.

Everyone deserves to be nurtured and cared for in their postpartum period. Some people are lucky to have a friend or family member who can be everything they need in that time…. But even if we do have the best support system, we feel guilty asking more of those individuals than is offered.

A postpartum doula provides a service you’ve invested in, a non-judgmental ear, and an evidence-based background of knowledge you can depend on.

Learn more about postpartum support

postpartum doula packages